Official Rulez
| Number | Rule | Source | Actual Rule |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Re: Like/Subscribe | Mainline 1 Mainline 7 (clarified) | |
| 1a | I will NEVER tell you to like and/or subscribe | I follow this | |
| 1b | You are NOT ALLOWED to like my videos | To like or to dislike, that is the question. No acknowledgement also acceptable | |
| 1c | You are NOT ALLOWED to subscribe | It's fine | |
| 2 | Turn on the subtitles | Mainline 2 | You don't have to because I've forced it upon you, although some videos have real subtitles |
| 3 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read the video description | Mainline 3 | Go ahead if some of this is your thing |
| 4 | You are REQUIRED to watch each video twice, once with eyes open and once with eyes closed | Mainline 3 | Optional |
| 5 | I AM ALLOWED to create content that inappropriately rips off somebody else's content, but YOU are NOT ALLOWED to create content that inappropriately rips off somebody else's content | Mainline 2 Additional | I do my best to not do this, and you shouldn't either, and it's funny to make it into a hypocritical rule |
| 6 | You are NOT ALLOWED to comment on my videos | Mainline 4 | It's fine, if you do try to be constructive, whatever that means |
| 7 | You are NOT ALLOWED to learn anything from my channel | Mainline 3 | Not sure I'm capable of teaching you anything, but go ahead |
| 8 | You are 100% ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to watch my videos | Mainline 3, later put in 1+2s' description | I don't have a rule against it, I suppose you could have an independent rule against it and then you can choose to follow it or not |
| Your kidz are NOT ALLOWED to watch my videos | Mainline 8 | Use your judgment, I don't know you or your kidz | |
| 10 | You are NOT ALLOWED to pause my videos | Mainline 3 | If you have the patience for this, sure |
| 11 | You are NOT ALLOWED to skip to the end of my videos | Mainline 3 | If you don't have the patience for this, sure |
| 12 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read the actual rulez | Fine, may contain things you can't unsee | |
| 13 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read the transcripts | I guess it's okay | |
| 14 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read the directory's commentaries | Untrue, but there might be a good reason I made the stuff less visible | |
| 15 | You are NOT ALLOWED to do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING with my links | As with everything, use your judgment | |
| 16 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read my channel description | Optional | |
| 17 | You are NOT ALLOWED to spoil any channel content for yourself or others | Your choice, use your judgment | |
| 18 | The rulez are ABSOLUTE. There are NO EXCEPTIONS! | Mainline 4 | Some rulez have exceptions, others don't |
| 19 | I am NOT ALLOWED to make BLOOPERS | Mainline 4 | yes [MISTAKE] |
| 20 | I am NOT ALLOWED to make MISTAKES | Mainline 4 | yes [BLOOPER] |
| 21 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read the subtitles | Mainline 4 | Optional |
| 22 | White people are NOT ALLOWED to watch my videos | Mainline 4 | Not touching this one with a ten foot pole |
| 23 | black people are NOT ALLOWED to watch my videos | Mainline 4 | Not touching this one with a ten foot pole |
| 24 | You are NOT ALLOWED to REPRESS/DENY/CONFABULATE/FORGET the actual rulez once you see them | If you're capable of this, go nuts | |
| 25 | You are NOT ALLOWED to CHANGE YOUR MIND after watching my videos | Mainline 4 | Maybe I'd like you to, I'm not in control of this one, also see rule 7 |
| 26 | If you accidentally violate rule #6 [comment on my videos], you are NOT ALLOWED to make the SECOND post | Mainline 4 | also see rule 6 |
| 27 | I am NOT ALLOWED to COMPLAIN | Sure I am | |
| 28 | NO ONE is ALLOWED to FIX my COMPLAINTS | Hope springs eternal | |
| 29 | You are REQUIRED to DISLIKE all of my videos | Mainline 7 | Re: acknowledgement: To like or to dislike, that is the question, no acknowledgement is also acceptable Re: preferences: You can think what you want about my videos |
| 30 | You are NOT ALLOWED to read my process document | Not sure if it's actually helpful to anyone, but go ahead | |
| 31 | I am NOT ALLOWED to discuss controversial topics on my channel | Mainline 5 | Try and stop me |
| 32 | The MAIN EXCEPTION LIST. Entities, per video, can break some rulez, but only when NOT mentioned by name. They can... | Mainline 5 | It exists |
| 32a | Subscribe to the video | Mainline 5 | Not physically possible |
| 32b | Make the second comment post for the video | Mainline 5 | I'm willing to risk this |
| 32c | Learn something from the video | Mainline 5 | Not quite as risky, but a little knowledge is a dangerous thing |
| 33 | There is currently NO ONE on the exception list! | Mainline 5 | This is correct |
| 34 | My coworkers are NOT ALLOWED to watch my videos, but if you accidentally break this rule you are REQUIRED to do so during work hours! | Mainline 5 | <sarcasm>dead on</sarcasm> |
| 35 | NO ONE is allowed to make mash-up jokes with my channel and Microsoft Teams! | Mainline 5 | Lamer is better |
| 36 | If you accidentally watch one of my videos, you are REQUIRED to REPRESS/DENY/CONFABULATE/FORGET it IMMEDIATELY | Mainline 5 | Go ahead if you need the space for something else |
| 37 | If I tell you to stop watching my videos, you STOP WATCHING MY VIDEOS! | Mainline 6 | Optional |
| 38 | The 2017 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles are NOT ALLOWED to watch my videos! | Silly Song 15 | Boo |
| 39 | If I mention you in a video, you are NOT ALLOWED to do anything that makes me regret that decision | Silly Song 15 | I can't control this, but I kinda tried |
| 40 | You are NOT ALLOWED to visit my website | https://destroyallpugz.site | |
| 41 | You are REQUIRED to read the terms and conditions of the web site | Optional | |
| 42 | Kidz, you are REQUIRED to ask permission before NOT WATCHING MY VIDEOS | Mainline 8 | Optional |
| 43 | KIDZ, DON'T WEAR A GARBAGE BAG WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION | Mainline 8 | KIDZ, DON'T WEAR A GARBAGE BAG WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION |
| 44 | If you accidentally start watching one of my videos, STOP IMMEDIATELY | Mainline 9 | Optional |
| 45 | NO ONE is ALLOWED to put my videos on a playlist | Mainline 9 | Does anyone actually use playlists? |
| 46 | For some individuals, the rulez DO NOT APPLY | Mainline 9 | It exists and no one is on this list either |
| 47 | I am NOT ALLOWED to give ANYONE security training | Work 4 | Life is filled with security training (e.g. suspicious links) |
| 48 | THIS IS A PERSONAL PROJECT! I MAKE ZERO MONEY OFF THIS SITE! SEND DONATIONS TO MY EMPLOYER! | Unexplainable 2 | The personal+nonmonetary part is true, the donations-to-employer part is intended as a joke |
Infrequently Asked Questions
- Do we live in a simulation?
- Yes. But if you don't believe this, I hope that we can agree that living in a simulation is a useful (and possibly important) metaphysical concept.
Unofficial Rulez
| Rule | Source |
|---|---|
| If your name is Jason and your last name has two syllables, you are REQUIRED to sing "Jason Kelce is The Man" with your name once per day | Silly Song 15 |